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House : The Great Cleanout


Last month, when I was having my really shitty week—on my actual birthday, in fact—I had an appointment to see a man about an estate sale. And it did not go so well.


To make a long back story short, in 2006 I moved back into my childhood home that I inherited after the deaths of first my grandparents, and then my mom. It was bursting at the seams with 3 generations of paraphernalia, which I have been slowly and painfully paring down.


(For a longer version of the story—with pictures!—go read about my bathroom.)


Heading into year 4 of this process, a lot of what I’ve been learning about psychology and productivity and general get-it-done-ness, kicked in to say HIRE SOMEONE! (Well all that, and watching Cari Cucksey on HGTV.)


So I emailed some folks about an estate sale. And I procrastinated. And I emailed again, and finally, on my birthday, someone came by to assess our situation.



And the answer?


We’re fucked.


Because we don’t have *enough* stuff for an estate sale.


Apparently the right time to have had one was 2006.


I know psychologically I wouldn’t have been able to handle that, but OH CRAP.


Because we still have too much stuff for your average yard sale.


Cause yea, we’ve already had 3 of those, and I’m SO over them.


We also have too much stuff for me to singlehandedly list on ebay at the rate of an item a month.


At this point, we’ve consolidated everything into one bedroom (and a half a shed), so it’s not bothering anyone, but that’s kind of the problem. Out of sight, out of mind.


My best solution right now?



I’m bringing it all to the wedding.




I’m getting a cargo van and loading it up with bins of glassware, vintage suitcases, lamps, knick-knacks.


I will play records, and find some Super 8 to project on the screen (because we have every Super 8 thing know to man except the fucking camera).


It’s all coming, and then some of it can stay, and I can get my house back.


  1. Zan

    Hey man, I am totally up for helping you with this. Perhaps in July after my wedding craziness is done? I think you could for sure do an estate sale on your own — mark what is for sale and what is not, have a little table where people can pay, put a few ads in the papers or on craigslist and boom! done!

    Not that I dont think your wedding idea is fabulous, but if you want your house back sooner I think it can be done.

  2. Aw, thank you! Throwing an estate ourselves may be tough, if only cause the guy told me when you sell things outside ppl don’t take it seriously and won’t pay as much, and we have no room to do it inside. (Ah, the secrets of estate sales.) But there’s definitely a few different options to look into… We’ll chat!

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