It’s another outline!
I have not had good luck with rings. And with that, let us begin…
1. Long hard road to deciding…
Buying a wedding ring was not a simple thing for me because my engagement ring was so fraught. It was my grandmother’s and I gave it to Scott to give to me and mass confusion ensued. I don’t know if it was the confusion, the fact that we neither of us bothered to get it sized, or that it just never felt like mine, but I’m not super in love with it. (In fact, after 2 years I’m sick of looking at it so I’ve just stopped wearing it. Not wearing an “engagement ring” does not make me less engaged.)
Because of all this I was very much looking forward to buying a wedding ring that I was excited to wear. I wanted something that coordinated with my engagement ring, in case I felt like wearing both, but really wanted something that would stand on its own, while still being comfortable.
Much, much googling later, enter “The Sparkler.”
2. Ok, that’s it, we’re done, right?
Once I made a decision it was a huge weight off. I vacillated slightly over my ring size, but had just been measured in December to resize my engagement ring, (which, as you shall see, thank god I didn’t go through with), so I knew either a 5 or 5.25 was a safe bet.
Scott’s ring search was slightly easier: black, preferably matte finish, plain, the end. A bit of google searching produced some options, we picked one and his $25 ring from Amazon was also on its way.
So on May 31, both rings were ordered with plenty of time until September.
3. Wrong, Or Why People Go to Jewelry Stores
Scott’s ring came first, and I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that it was too big, as we’d used a paper sizer downloaded off the internet and a different style man’s ring I found in my jewelry box to decide he was a 9ish. Which we rounded up. (You may be beginning to catch on—ring sizes shouldn’t be rounded up. Oh well, return the 9.5 and get a 9.
My beautiful ring came at the end of June, and as I sleepily (thank you Fedex for always managing to arrive just as I’ve gotten out of bed) took it out of its beautiful box and put it on, I sleepily realized it was much, much too big. I put it on my hand and shook gently. Uh oh.
And then, I put it back in the box and went to work and tried not to think about it.
I came home and showed it to Scott and he agreed—there was no way I could wear it. I frantically compared it to rings I already owned, and became convinced it was not a 5.25, but a 5.5.
Now at this point you may be asking yourselves what the big deal is and why can’t I just go get it sized. Allow me to remind you that I am the IDIOT WHO BOUGHT A CUSTOM MADE PAVE ETERNITY BAND WITHOUT BEING PROFESSIONALLY SIZED.
Let that be a lesson to all of you.
But on with the story. I got my hands on a ring sizing stick and determined that it was indeed a 5.5, but at this point I am wondering if a quarter size even matters.
I convo the wonderfully understanding Etsy seller, and she offers to remake the ring that millimeter smaller, but wonders the same thing.
Tail between my legs, I pop down to my local jeweler, throw Scott under the bus (can’t bring myself to admit to the tsk-tsk-y LI ladies that I’m the fuck up), and get sized again. They conclude: the ring is a 5.5, and I need a 4.5.
The mind boggles.
Even though I had the 4.5 sizing ring on my own hand, I can’t believe it. I allegedly had a 5.25 sizing ring on my hand in December and that fit too.
More Googling later, and absolutely nothing seems to support the possibility that my hand could be a full size larger in winter than in summer. Not my Reynaud’s disease, not nothing.
At this point, I ship the Sparkler back to Northern Ireland, paying $40 for USPS Global Express and having it sit in custom for a nerve-wracking 3 days past it’s “guaranteed” delivery time. Refund forthcoming, perhaps.
4. Rings Rounds 2 and 3
Being unable to trust my own hands, I decide to go find myself a cheapy sterling silver band in the same width as the Sparkler, and try out this alleged 4.5 thing.
$30 later, thanks again to Amazon, Scott and I both have rings [kinda] on their way to us. Again.
And….wait for it…when they show up, NEITHER FITS.
They did not send a 4.5, but a 5.5, and Scott’s is just still too big.
So, Round 3, I return those, and order a different band from Ebay this time, still $15, and it actually fucking fits. I’ve been wearing it for a week and it’s perfect.
(We still need to just order both an 8 and an 8.5 for Scott’s freaky wee fingers.)
5. What do I do now?
And now, dear readers, I am exhausted and have no idea where to go from here.
Contact the lovely and patient Vintage Goldsmith about making me a 4.5? Even though I’m feeling more confident in my ring size, it’s still a little unnerving that it might not fit AGAIN (and that style-wise, I will never be able to get it sized.)
The only other ring(s) I’ve seen that’ve spoken to me in quite the same way are by this Etsy seller:
Honestly, if I had to start all over, I’d ask for something like this as an engagement/band set. It’s the only kind of engagement ring that I’ve seen that feels like ME. It’s a little different, a little blingy, a little nod to the vintage, while still being contemporary (I love estate pieces, but the swirls and filigrees are a bit much for everyday for me), and not over the top.
But right now? It’s not exactly in our budget. Womp womp.
And I don’t want to just get the band cause I don’t really like it on its own. (Cue the part where I remind myself that my love of the “Sparkler” was because it really stands on its own, while still being practical and comfortable.)
I could always keep my little sterling silver band and worry about getting this, or something else, later. But that sounds like the same kind of laziness that got me into this ring mess in the first place…