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Wedding : Exhaustion

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Monday night Scott and I fell asleep on the couch together. At 11pm. (Our usual bedtime is 1:30.) This only after I protested his cuddles by saying, “Don’t talk to me until October.” I lost 2 hours of productivity to this unplanned cuddlefest, plus the motivation to go to yoga this morning because I was all confused by my random sleeping and the horrible, horrible allergies I woke up to.

 

My panicked, productive side wishes I could say this was a one-time lapse into laziness, but the same thing happened again last night.

 

I think I’ve hit a wall.

 

Truthfully, the exhaustion started at work last Friday after a particularly productive week. (But no yoga, I think the skipping my weekday yoga is wreaking havoc.) Suddenly my back felt all twisted out of shape and weak to the point where just staying upright was a chore, and all I wanted was to do was do my work lying flat on the floor. Which, obviously, I couldn’t. Friday felt like the longest day ever, culminating in an awful crowded train ride home that I think got my rage adrenaline going enough that we were able to squeeze a couple errands in when I got home and I didn’t pass out immediately.

 

Maybe that’s all carrying over into this week?

 

Or maybe it’s from Sunday, where I worked for twelve solid hours planning and ordering the decorations for the wedding, catching up on blogs, and blogging myself. (Decision fatigue, anyone?)

 

When did wedding planning and blogging become work?

 

I guess when I allowed it to make my life so structured that I fight being hugged by my fiancé because “there’s not enough time.”

 

And yes, I know that that fiancé-hug-related stuff is the point of the whole thing, but it’s so hard for me to switch into that, when Type-A, goal-focused, workaholic me is chomping at the bit 24 hours a day lately.

 

Anyone else experiencing/have experienced this? Did you feel distanced from your relationship because of all the work?

 

Right now, I’m clinging to Becca’s post about the emotional reawakening that occurred for her the day of the wedding, while of course, trying to remind myself this might not look like this for me.

 

Tell me your stories!

2 Comments

  1. So. Timely.

    We’re struggling with this right now although it’s two and a half months post-wedding and all the stress is coming from work and not wedding planning. I think Becca’s quote put it together for me – “because to be “in love” you both need to nurture each other, which we didn’t have time or capacity for.” And I also think she’s right that you sort of grit your teeth, make it through, and continue to snuggle and be there for each other as much as you can. Or at least I hope so.

    Good luck with everything!

  2. Oh man. Big hugs–or not, because I know just what you’re talking about when you say that you don’t have enough time for fiance hugs.

    We’re still working on putting back together the pieces that had to be pushed aside to make the wedding happen. We’re having the talks that got avoided so we could make the playlists or brew the beer. We’re snuggling to make up for all of those nights we had to go to bed at different times. And we’re rebuilding our sleep stash.

    This is normal. And it’s so, so hard.

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