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Wedding : Something Blue


Keriann & Scott 0044 © Jimena Roquero Photography

© jimena roquero photography
doing my hair. myself. (with help.) the one thing i was afraid of…


I hate losing things.


And by hate I mean, I have a sneaking suspicion I have some strand of mental illness centered around losing things.


I hate it so much I simply do not lose things.


Except sometimes I do.


Not so much “lose” as “leave somewhere I cannot retrieve them”.


The last thing I lost was a grey American Apparel circle scarf that I left at a bar on Nicole’s birthday in February this year. It was pretty devastating because the scarf that I thought (for once!) was easily replaceable apparently was not due to a dramatic backslide in the quality of American Apparel’s fabrics since I got it several years ago.


But what does all this have to do with the wedding you ask?


Well as I was getting ready, my ponytail holder broke, and my friend Aimee lent me one of hers with the apology that it was blue. But hey!, my something blue!


After the wedding I intended on taking it off and putting it in the pile of things to scrapbook, silly as it may have been, Except I continued using it instead. Hey, I don’t lose things, remember.


So I wore it to Italy and have been wearing it everyday since, right up until yesterday.


When I lost it.


Or rather, left it at the hotel.


I think.


And it’s not like housekeeping is going to not throw out a nondescript ponytail holder.


So I have been forced to come to terms with losing it. Mostly by berating myself for being so overdramatically sentimental and attached to objects, and publicly shaming myself in this forum.


Cruel, but I think that that worked.


  1. It’s ok to feel like shit after losing something or messing up. I am right there with you. Ok, so this one time I had searched and searched and seaarrrchheed for grey pants. GREY. And I finally found these fabulous stretchy grey cords at anthropologie. And at that time I could NOT find clothes that fit me, so I was like weee!! PANTS! And spent the extra money. I even got them hemmed because they were so long. And then when I got back to college after the holiday, I washed them and I accidentally dried them. AND THEY SHRUNK like…. so high they could no longer be pants. and they couldn’t be capris because it was winter in Illinois and cord capris?

    I HAD RUINED THEM. So I literally fell face first on my bed and broke out into the ugly cry over the loss of the perfect pant.

    YOU LOST THE BLUE PONY TAIL HOLDER!!! And it super super super sucks. But it was not the best part of your wedding, I know this to be fact. And you will always remember your something blue… even if you don’t physically have it. 🙂

  2. Oh man, I do this. I “lose” things and mourn them AND I attach to random things.

    Including ponytail holders. I had a small one that had been given to me by a boy I dated (the first night I met him he grabbed one of his mother’s to let me use) … and I held on to it for almost 4 years. After misplacing it all over my house, I put it on my keychain. When it broke and disappeared I CRIED.

    Also! There is a business card that was the instrument in my meeting Jon. He’d taken a snapshot of me and a friend (at a photo studio open house) and given me his card so I could email him for the picture. I lost the card. The next month I went back to the open house, determined to track him down (I wanted the picture!). We started talking, and you know the rest. Well, after we’d moved clear across the country, I found the business card under the floor mat of my car. I was SUPER excited, and left it there. It made me smile to know it had been with us the whole time. Well, two months later, Jon took it to a car wash where they vaccummed … and threw the card away.

    I’m still not over that one.

  3. KA

    Aw, you guys. And things. Oh the things. It’s funny, cause most of the important people in my life are the throw it all away types, which probably causes me to hold tighter to things, as I feel like I’m the archivist/historian.

    Lauren! Laundry dramas are whole other special-ity. See the cashmere hoodie I handwashed (bc the label said so!) and ruined the night before our engagement shoot. Or the fancy expensive yoga pants i STILL wear despite mysteriously getting bleach on them almost immediately.

    And Sarah, that SUCKS. That is exactly exactly how I am. It’s like, well *I* know it’s there so it will be there forever. And then third parties, and mysterious forces of nature, or changes in routine fuck with our shit! I think the irony & torture is in how we still remember the item—maybe even more so?—and the exact circumstances of its importance and loss long after it happened.

    Because yea, at the end of the day, it is just an object and life [and the memories] go on.

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